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[Noah at least makes an effort to look apologetic when Adam opens the door. Briefly apologetic. He didn't want to wake Adam up but this clearly couldn't wait. Not for a single day more. Noah had both his friends and their feelings to think about.]

I need- um. I need to talk to you. It's important Adam, very important. Can I come in? I think I need to sit.

[He could also sit right there in the hallway, and actually as he thought about it, lying on the floor also sounded pretty nice right now.]

How much have you had to drink?

[A lot, apparently. Adam doesn't really want Noah to fall over - or pass out outside his door - so he steps back so Noah can come in to his room.]

It must be pretty important if you're here instead of passed out upstairs.

[Or at least it must be something he thinks is pretty important. Adam doesn't ask where he got the alcohol or who he was drinking with - he's not Gansey, he doesn't really care as long as no one dies, and obviously he was probably drinking with Ronan. Which does make him wonder again why it's Noah and not Ronan at his door.]

[Noah is also wondering why Ronan isn't here, but he also kind of knows why, and that is incidentally why NOAH is here. Good, they're on the same page.

He enters when Adam steps back to let him, sitting on the first available sit space be it chair or bed. He tries to look serious and slightly more sober.]

It is. So important, Adam. It's about Ronan. He gave me whiskey. It isn't about him giving me whiskey though that was gross and he needs better taste in alcohol. That's not related.

[He sits down on the edge of his bed, watching Noah in the chair. He can mostly follow Noah's unfettered chain of thought.]

Is Ronan all right?

[Adam is not all that worried. If something really had happened, if Ronan had gotten hurt, Noah wouldn't be this calm. So it must be something else, though now Adam is a bit wary, uncertain he wants to talk about this. Whatever it is.]

Ronan isn't bleeding.

[It's important to get that out first, that Ronan has suffered no physical injury. If Adam is worried about Ronan's wellbeing he won't be able to appreciate Noah's very well thought out plan and advice. He braces his hands again to his knees in order to steady himself to fix Adam with a Very Serious Look.]

But he isn't okay. Adam. Adam.

Your need to kiss him. On the mouth. With your mouth.

[That is - not quite what Adam expected to hear. He stares for a moment, his ears go hot, and he looks away.]

Noah, you - I don't think -

[What is even the appropriate response to that? Adam tries to conjure up something responsible and even-handed and understandable even to a very drunk boy. He totally fails.]

- did he say that?

[Noah feels pretty pleased with himself actually. He feels he made his point very well. Surely Adam is wowed by his intellect. What would his friends do without him?

Never get any, that's what. Noah's gotta look out for his two friends that have a chance at something. Something real and happy and good and - They could be so very, very good for each other, if only they could get started.]

He doesn't have to. Neither do you. You need it too. Adam you need to kiss him. You need to kiss him. There is a mutual need.

[Oh god. That's - well, better, probably, since if Ronan had talked about this with Noah and Noah had immediately come to tell Adam, there'd probably be a big fight down the line. But this just means Noah has come to this conclusion all on his own.

He still has no idea how to respond. After all, it would be a straight out lie if he said he didn't want to kiss Ronan. But it's just not that simple.]

We're - we're still figuring things out. I don't want to hurt him.

[It sounds weak, and it is, but it's still true. He's not sure Drunk Noah will understand, though.]

If I kissed him and then things didn't work out, it would be bad. You know that.

[Even if it meant getting thrown out a window again, he would take that for the two of them. It would be worth it.

Noah shakes his head, pauses, regrets that action. He sort of slooowly kind of sliiiiides off the chair to sit on the floor with his back braced up by the chair. There, better.]

Adam, no. No Adam. How are - how are things going to figure better? What can be figured more by waiting longer? You want to, he wants to, and - and you don't want to hurt him, and he doesn't want to hurt you, and the two of you are like trapped in this orbit around each other and I've been trying not to touch it because it's like baby birds, Adam, you gotta let it be but even baby birds need a push out of the nest and this is your push, Adam. This is life, pushing you, telling you to fly. Fly and kiss Ronan Lynch.

Maybe you should be saying this to him. He's perfectly capable of kissing me if he wants to.

[There's a prickly irritation to Adam's words just then, but he knows he's being unfair. He knows there's a reason Ronan won't, that he's the one who asked for time, and that Ronan is being kind by giving it to him instead of giving up on him. He knows that it's up to him, in the end.

It's just - hard, sometimes. Having that on his shoulders, knowing it's down to him to know when it's the right time. Knowing that if it all comes crashing down, it'll be because he wasn't as sure as he thought, because he let what he wants drown out his better judgment.

He shakes his head, stands, offers Noah a hand.]

You're really drunk. You should go to bed, Noah.

Nooo.

[Noah kind of, uh. Flops. Onto his side. Adam looks even taller than usual from the floor. His hand is ignored, sweet as the offer is.]

Okay. I mean. Yes I am really drunk but no to the other stuff. My being drunk does not change that I am right.

It is the right time, Adam. Time's as rights as it's gonna get. I can tell Ronan that too if it would make you feel better, though.

[But, you know, consider this carefully Adam.

Because that does mean banging on the shared wall and yelling for Ronan to come here and kiss Adam on the mouth with his mouth.]

Noah -

[He sighs, kneels down next to Noah. His voice is quiet.]

I fucked things up with Blue. I'm not going to let the same thing happen with Ronan. If I can't give him everything he deserves, everything he needs, then I shouldn't do it at all. I'd only hurt him. I know you're too drunk for that to make sense right now, but - that's how it is.

[And he curls a hand around Noah's shoulder, tugging him upright carefully. He really doesn't want Noah to puke on him or his floor.]

Don't pass out on my floor, okay?

[Noah reluctantly lets himself get pulled to his feet. He's a bit wobbly, but he reaches out to brace his hands on Adam's shoulders both to steady himself and to make sure he's like looking Adam in the face when he continues talking and not, like... end up talking to Adam's elbow or something.]

Adam. Adam. Blue ... Blue didn't know you. [Noah speaks slowly and carefully, trying so hard to enunciate and not sound as drunk as he is, which is so oddly important considering it isn't like he's trying to make Adam think he's sober.]

Ronan knows you, Adam. And you know him.

[Get yourself some, Adam Parrish.]

Yeah, and I know he puts all of himself into things, and I know that even he can get hurt. And I know I don't want to be the one to do that.

[He turns Noah around, very carefully, steering him toward the door before he can do something like sit down again. Or pass out. Or throw up.]

If it turns out I can't... that I'm too damaged to ever love him, it's better not to even go there.

[Almost certainly, Adam wouldn't say that if Noah were sober. He sort of regrets saying it the instant it leaves his mouth, but he doesn't have anyone to talk to about these things. He's so lost.]

Let's get you to bed.

[Noah looks absolutely piteous as he lets himself be lead. It isn't even a bit for sympathy, he's not coherent enough to try that and he knows it wouldn't work on Adam anyway. His face just kind of does that on its own. Drunk as he is, he does have the forethought to keep his voice down when there's risk of being overheard.

It's one thing to shout where Ronan can hear that Adam and Ronan need to miss with tongues, it's another to say where anyone can hear someone's secrets.]

Adam - Adam, you aren't. You aren't, Adam. I know. I know like I knew things before, back in Henrietta. I know like I knew you shouldn't throw away the gun. You just don't know what it looks like and that's why you haven't realized. I promise Adam, you aren't, you just need to fly and you can.

You don't know. And Noah, I don't know how much control you have over it, but stay out of my head.

[He keeps his voice steady, but it's straining. He doesn't like being told that someone knows him, especially when they seem to think they know him better than he does. It's not that it can't be true, it's that it's invasive and unwelcome. Noah is his friend, he has good intentions, so Adam carefully keeps his temper in check. It's a close thing.]

I get that you love Ronan and you want him to - get laid or whatever. But I'm a person too, and you don't get to tell me who I am. Go to bed, Noah.

[Noah sighs and deflates a bit at that. He might be blitzed out of his gourd and all, but he does seem aware that there is a line and he has crossed it, apologetically backing away.]

You're both my friends, and I want my friends to be happy. There's - there's a chance to be happy there. And if anyone deserves something good and happy it's you.

[he sways a bit, but does not fall over.]

I'm - I'm gonna get some water first. I'm sorry I can't find the right words, Adam.

I know what I deserve.

[He's quiet but certain, and he reaches over to open the door for Noah.]

Go to bed. And please don't talk about this again.

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