ic inbox [hadriel]

[unknowable]

"Please leave a message and I'll return it as soon as I'm able."

[if necessary, you can also leave a message for Ronan Lynch here]

Comments

2/2

[whichend]

It opens! I think I could fit my entire head and shoulders in this thing.

[unknowable]

You could, if you wanted, and then run around bumping into things. But it's a little more useful for carrying stuff in.

[whichend]

I don't know what I'd put in there but it does seem like a useful thing to have.

[ She's now sitting cross-legged on the floor, zipping and unzipping the backpack with a delighted little grin on her face. ]

Do the small metal things have a name?

[unknowable]

They're called zippers.

Where'd you get a backpack, anyway?

[whichend]

It arrived in my room one morning. I hunted some cave monsters and I believe this was my reward.

Have any of the gods indicated that they know more about you than they should?

[unknowable]

Well, it's nice you got a useful reward, at least.

And I haven't talked to any of them. I don't trust them. Why? Does it seem that way to you?

[whichend]

It does. They can see more than emotions, I think.

You are wise not to trust them. I don't trust them either.

[unknowable]

I wouldn't be surprised if they could.

Did they do something to make you think that?

[whichend]

They gave me something from home. From before.

[unknowable]

Something that only you would know about? Something personal?

[whichend]

Very.

[unknowable]

I guess we shouldn't be surprised. Do you remember when they forced us all to see our worst fears? I don't know how they did that, but - they definitely shouldn't have known any of it.

[whichend]

Do you know why I do not use Arya Stark's name?

[ it's easier, in some ways, to explain this over text. adam doesn't have to see her face, and she can take as long as she needs to respond. ]

[unknowable]

I don't. Will you tell me?

[Adam's found that a lot of personal things are easier over text, when you don't have to look someone in the eye, when you can take as long as you need to to pick your words.]

[whichend]

[ It takes Arya a long time to write the message. To sort out lies from truth, to find the words. ]

For a long time, I did not have a home, or a safe place to make one. I ran all over Westeros, and eventually I left the kingdom itself, and went to Braavos. In Braavos, I came upon the House of Black and White, home to the priests of the Many-Faced God. They took me in, provided food and shelter and promised safety.

But such things are not free, and in exchange, I had to give them Arya Stark. Her name, her memories, her desires, her entire self. I was to become no one, a faceless girl with no ties and no connections.

That is no easy task and I was not always successful.

Sometimes, I was punished.

The Door pulled me from that place. Nymeria is no more my name than Arya is. I made it up so you would have something to call me by.

The memories the gods used to give gifts are ones I am not allowed to have. That the gods can see them at all is frightening.

[unknowable]

[He reads her message, and thinks about it before answering. He wants to be sure he's choosing the right words, too.]

I've never been able to let go of my memories or my desires. That you were able to do it at all is incredible. You have a strong will.

But you aren't there anymore. You don't have to live by those rules if you don't want to. You can have safety and shelter and food here, and while they aren't free, you're asked for different things in exchange for them.

The gods shouldn't have been able to see those memories, but we can't do anything about the power they have over us. Not so easily. We can really only choose things for ourselves. So I guess the question is, do you want to have those memories?

[whichend]

I am not there anymore, but sometimes it feels like they are here. It has been months now, and some days I still swear I can hear the disciple's voices.

And what happens if I am sent back?

I don't know.

I feel that the answer should be so simple but I don't

I think I would like my name back, at least.

[unknowable]

Sometimes I can hear my father's voice, even now. It's not easy to get away from these things.

If you're sent back - that's something you should think about, but not something you should let dictate what you do now. You have a lot of freedom here, even if it can be awful sometimes.

You have a good name. You should take it back, if you want it.

[whichend]

I may try.

Thank you.

[unknowable]

If I can help you at all, I will.