[It's the only thing he can say, the only acceptable response. He has to be okay, especially now that Gansey's gone. He has to be the one to keep them together. That's what Gansey's asked of him, after all, more than once now. Never mind that Gansey is excellent with people, and Adam doesn't know how to connect with anyone. Never mind that Gansey's always been the center of everything, and Adam nothing more than a satellite.
He knows it makes sense. Ronan is too ruled by his emotions, likely to lash out or run away. Noah is barely there at all sometimes, still too ghostlike to rely on. Henry is an unknown quantity that none of them really trust yet. It has to be Adam, steady, hardworking Adam who always does what needs to be done regardless of the cost.
It doesn't feel fair right now. Not now. But that's self-pity, and Adam knows it. He knows it too well. He tries to catch hold of it, squeeze it out of himself, be stronger.
Ronan is still here. He hasn't left, he hasn't gotten angry like he did before. Maybe they won't fight. Maybe he'll stay, maybe Adam can lean on him a little. Just a little. He won't ask for much, he doesn't know how. But first Adam knows he has to get ahold of himself, he can't let this - his hand, Gansey, all of it in quick succession - distract him from what's important. Ronan, most of all. Noah. Whoever else is still here.]
He's safer at home. Nothing's going to hurt him there - we saved him.
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[It's the only thing he can say, the only acceptable response. He has to be okay, especially now that Gansey's gone. He has to be the one to keep them together. That's what Gansey's asked of him, after all, more than once now. Never mind that Gansey is excellent with people, and Adam doesn't know how to connect with anyone. Never mind that Gansey's always been the center of everything, and Adam nothing more than a satellite.
He knows it makes sense. Ronan is too ruled by his emotions, likely to lash out or run away. Noah is barely there at all sometimes, still too ghostlike to rely on. Henry is an unknown quantity that none of them really trust yet. It has to be Adam, steady, hardworking Adam who always does what needs to be done regardless of the cost.
It doesn't feel fair right now. Not now. But that's self-pity, and Adam knows it. He knows it too well. He tries to catch hold of it, squeeze it out of himself, be stronger.
Ronan is still here. He hasn't left, he hasn't gotten angry like he did before. Maybe they won't fight. Maybe he'll stay, maybe Adam can lean on him a little. Just a little. He won't ask for much, he doesn't know how. But first Adam knows he has to get ahold of himself, he can't let this - his hand, Gansey, all of it in quick succession - distract him from what's important. Ronan, most of all. Noah. Whoever else is still here.]
He's safer at home. Nothing's going to hurt him there - we saved him.