[It's the one thing he can correct, really, and so he does. He never said anything to Ronan about studying - he never had to. They've never talked about it, Adam throwing away his home and family to keep Ronan from getting kicked out, Ronan taking care to make sure the sacrifice wasn't pointless. They probably never will talk about it, it was months ago, and neither of them are the type to unearth old pain. Adam doesn't want to think about that night. He doubts Ronan does, either.]
And you know you're a lot more than that, Gansey. I don't want to do anything that might... make things difficult.
[For all of them. If he tried, and things didn't work out, it would be disastrous. Adam knows his own faults, probably better than anyone. He knows he's insecure and jealous and more easily angered than he'd like to be. It would be too easy to hurt Ronan, too easy to upset the balance of all of their friendships. He's desperately afraid of losing Ronan, of losing all of them.]
I don't know. I'm lucky he's willing to give me time.
[He laughs, though there isn't much amusement in it. He is beyond lucky to be the focus of Ronan's desires at all, as frightening as it is. Adam is incredibly aware of that.]
With the dreams, and the ley lines, and this - it's just not a great situation for figuring out this sort of stuff.
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[It's the one thing he can correct, really, and so he does. He never said anything to Ronan about studying - he never had to. They've never talked about it, Adam throwing away his home and family to keep Ronan from getting kicked out, Ronan taking care to make sure the sacrifice wasn't pointless. They probably never will talk about it, it was months ago, and neither of them are the type to unearth old pain. Adam doesn't want to think about that night. He doubts Ronan does, either.]
And you know you're a lot more than that, Gansey. I don't want to do anything that might... make things difficult.
[For all of them. If he tried, and things didn't work out, it would be disastrous. Adam knows his own faults, probably better than anyone. He knows he's insecure and jealous and more easily angered than he'd like to be. It would be too easy to hurt Ronan, too easy to upset the balance of all of their friendships. He's desperately afraid of losing Ronan, of losing all of them.]
I don't know. I'm lucky he's willing to give me time.
[He laughs, though there isn't much amusement in it. He is beyond lucky to be the focus of Ronan's desires at all, as frightening as it is. Adam is incredibly aware of that.]
With the dreams, and the ley lines, and this - it's just not a great situation for figuring out this sort of stuff.