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"Please leave a message and I'll return it as soon as I'm able."

[if necessary, you can also leave a message for Ronan Lynch here]

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Chainsaw is the boss of us all. She could handle them.

I'm grateful every day.

she's definitely louder and pointier than i am, at least. never know, there might be something worth seeing under there. still, weird.

I'm pretty sure he's got the same thing under there as the rest of us, unless you know something I don't. I'll pass on getting a peek.

[the reply takes a moment, because gansey just cracked up. technically he does know something adam doesn't, but it is, as adam pointed out, nothing particularly extraordinary.]

this is one of the many reasons i enjoy you, parrish. such a way with words. i just laughed so hard i startled chainsaw.

Chainsaw's ears are too tender for this discussion. Tell her I'm sorry.

luckily i don't think she can read. but i said we were sorry and now she's standing on my head pulling my hair, so either the apology was accepted or she's having her revenge.

[attached is a picture showing exactly what was described: the top third of gansey's face, eyes still crinkled with laughter, and chainsaw on his head, restyling gansey's hair with such force and concentration that her beak is blurry.]

[And it's his turn to laugh at that, poor Gansey abused cruelly by Ronan's bird.]

I really think she has a future as a hairstylist.

watch out, maybe next time you'll end up with her instead and this will also be your fate.

Yes, but my hair won't look all that different when she's done with it. You're the one with nice hair.

whatever, parrish. if your hair wasn't nice helen wouldn't flirt with you. her standards are astoundingly high. also it's really the pulling that'll get you in the end. with chainsaw, not helen.

All things considered, Chainsaw and Helen are sounding pretty similar. Are you sure your sister isn't a raven?

only by virtue of aglionby being an all-boys school. she went to the girls' version. also inherited all the ruthlessness and left none for me. also, she is much taller than chainsaw and would never be seen in public with her feathers ruffled.

With Ronan and I around, you're better off without any ruthlessness.

But you're also rarely seen in public with ruffled feathers, so there is some resemblance.

different kind of ruthlessness. i'm just singleminded, which is a poor second. gansey feathers do not ruffle in public, it's genetic. mother's favorite thing to tell us was that everyone’s face is a mirror and we ought to endeavor to make them reflect a smile. it would be rude to express anything less.

You, Richard Gansey III, are a poor second to nothing.

That does sound like something your mother would say.

don't laugh too hard, but i'm the black sheep of the family. she said it often. at least daily. sometimes more frequently than that until we learned.