[He lays down with Ronan, curling close to him. Adam feels a little better now that he's eaten - he doesn't quite remember the last time he did. Before this all happened, he thinks. He probably should have eaten sooner, but he had no appetite, no desire to eat at all. It does help, though. A little.
Ronan is warm next to him. He knows Ronan isn't okay, but he doesn't have the ability to draw it out of him right now. He doesn't know what to say, what to do to make it better. He can't bring Gansey back. He should probably apologize, he thinks, for making Ronan hurt him, and then for making Ronan take care of him afterward. He should apologize, and he will, but he can't find the words. Not right now.]
It aches a little.
[Adam thinks it's more of a psychological thing than a physical one. Gansey healed his wound, made sure he wouldn't bleed out or die from trauma. There's no physical reason for his arm to hurt, but it does, so he has to conclude it's psychological. He doesn't know what to do about that. It's like all those times at home - all those moments when he knew he was reacting a certain way because of trauma, when he missed home and knew he shouldn't, when he knew his past was ruling him but he couldn't make it stop.
This is not nearly as bad, but it's still frustrating. He knows it'll get better, he knows it has to get better. Ronan's presence helps, Cabeswater in the back of his mind helps, Aspen coming over to nose at him worriedly now and then helps. It'll just take time.
That's what he tells himself, but he wants it to be over already. He wants to be strong and unaffected by everything that's happened. But he's always wanted that, and it never seems to happen.]
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Ronan is warm next to him. He knows Ronan isn't okay, but he doesn't have the ability to draw it out of him right now. He doesn't know what to say, what to do to make it better. He can't bring Gansey back. He should probably apologize, he thinks, for making Ronan hurt him, and then for making Ronan take care of him afterward. He should apologize, and he will, but he can't find the words. Not right now.]
It aches a little.
[Adam thinks it's more of a psychological thing than a physical one. Gansey healed his wound, made sure he wouldn't bleed out or die from trauma. There's no physical reason for his arm to hurt, but it does, so he has to conclude it's psychological. He doesn't know what to do about that. It's like all those times at home - all those moments when he knew he was reacting a certain way because of trauma, when he missed home and knew he shouldn't, when he knew his past was ruling him but he couldn't make it stop.
This is not nearly as bad, but it's still frustrating. He knows it'll get better, he knows it has to get better. Ronan's presence helps, Cabeswater in the back of his mind helps, Aspen coming over to nose at him worriedly now and then helps. It'll just take time.
That's what he tells himself, but he wants it to be over already. He wants to be strong and unaffected by everything that's happened. But he's always wanted that, and it never seems to happen.]
It'll go away.