[Ronan still touches him, still wants to touch him. In this moment, Adam can't really understand why, considering his mutilated body and what he made Ronan do, but it helps immeasurably. Whatever else has happened, maybe they really do have each other. It's not that he doubted it, not exactly - Ronan's loyalty is one of the firmest truths in Adam's life - it's just that it's still something Adam has to work to accept. It's not something natural to him, it's not something he can expect. It's a surprise each time he's reminded that Ronan wants him, cares about him, loves him, and isn't going to change his mind.
It shouldn't be, but it is. That's not Ronan's fault, but rather just another scar from Adam's past, one that someday he hopes will fade.
He presses his cheek into Ronan's hand, letting himself take comfort from that touch, trying to give it in return. He still feels cold, broken, barely holding his pieces together, but it helps. And more than that, he wants to give Ronan the same thing, doesn't want him to think he's alone in this.]
We will. I'm not going anywhere.
[What he needs to do is pull himself together, be stable, be stronger. He needs to be able to let Ronan lean on him. He'll never be able to replace Gansey - frankly, he doesn't want to, he doesn't want to keep Ronan on a leash, he likes him a little wild. But he has to be able to be better, to look past his own troubles and focus on the others. He promised he would.
It's not easy right now, but Ronan is here. They're together. It's something, it means so much.]
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It shouldn't be, but it is. That's not Ronan's fault, but rather just another scar from Adam's past, one that someday he hopes will fade.
He presses his cheek into Ronan's hand, letting himself take comfort from that touch, trying to give it in return. He still feels cold, broken, barely holding his pieces together, but it helps. And more than that, he wants to give Ronan the same thing, doesn't want him to think he's alone in this.]
We will. I'm not going anywhere.
[What he needs to do is pull himself together, be stable, be stronger. He needs to be able to let Ronan lean on him. He'll never be able to replace Gansey - frankly, he doesn't want to, he doesn't want to keep Ronan on a leash, he likes him a little wild. But he has to be able to be better, to look past his own troubles and focus on the others. He promised he would.
It's not easy right now, but Ronan is here. They're together. It's something, it means so much.]
You can tell me. If you're not okay, I mean.