[Adam didn't see Gansey's recovery either. He was brought to Hadriel right before it - but Gansey said it happened, and so did Blue, and so did Henry. In the face of all of that, he had no choice but to believe it, and he clings to that fact now. Gansey is home and safe, and they'll see him again whenever they go home.
It's a comfort. A small comfort, but a real one. Adam knows that wanting Gansey there with them is selfish, when this place is not safe for anyone, when he could be hurt. When he already has been hurt too many times. But even so, Adam feels the loss of him. The loss of one of the few people he trusts without reservation, someone he can talk to when he needs to, someone to relax around. He feels the loss of more than that - the possible destabilization of the ones left behind, the things that could happen.
They happened before. Things could be different now. Ronan seems upset about Gansey's departure, but not as if he's about to explode, not as if he might storm off. Adam knows it's not easy for either of them, but he's more worried about Ronan then himself. He was a poor substitute for Gansey last time. Things have changed, but that could still be the same.
He doesn't want it to be.]
I'm okay. Don't go.
[He doesn't want to be alone right now. He doesn't want Ronan out of his sight, as if he might disappear suddenly too. And he might. Then what would Adam do?
Adam fumbles with the bowl as he tries to set it on the nightstand, still clumsy with only one hand.]
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It's a comfort. A small comfort, but a real one. Adam knows that wanting Gansey there with them is selfish, when this place is not safe for anyone, when he could be hurt. When he already has been hurt too many times. But even so, Adam feels the loss of him. The loss of one of the few people he trusts without reservation, someone he can talk to when he needs to, someone to relax around. He feels the loss of more than that - the possible destabilization of the ones left behind, the things that could happen.
They happened before. Things could be different now. Ronan seems upset about Gansey's departure, but not as if he's about to explode, not as if he might storm off. Adam knows it's not easy for either of them, but he's more worried about Ronan then himself. He was a poor substitute for Gansey last time. Things have changed, but that could still be the same.
He doesn't want it to be.]
I'm okay. Don't go.
[He doesn't want to be alone right now. He doesn't want Ronan out of his sight, as if he might disappear suddenly too. And he might. Then what would Adam do?
Adam fumbles with the bowl as he tries to set it on the nightstand, still clumsy with only one hand.]
Are you all right?