[Lance has spoken about it more, probably, than Adam has, although the vast majority of that was during counseling through his childhood years. As a teenager, and especially as an adult, he almost never says anything; it's partially because he doesn't want people knowing, but also partially because it's just too difficult. Even with his friends who are aware of what happened, he's never actually spoken with them about it beyond vague allusions.
But Adam is right in that he isn't asking for details, not just because it would be incredibly insensitive but because Lance doesn't think he could handle hearing much of them. There are several reasons he chose not to work with children, or even teenagers, and this is one of them; he can't be objective or helpful in a professional capacity when he isn't capable of keeping the required distance from the subject.
What little Adam does tell him is difficult enough to hear, although not just due to his own experiences.]
I'm sorry. I can't imagine.
[He'd never been in a particularly good foster home, but the one that had been the very worst had only lasted eighteen months and that had still been enough to scar him for life, both mentally and physically. Although he doesn't know for sure--and won't ask--exactly when things started for Adam, he has the impression from everything so far that it's probably been a long time.]
Yes, it is always a mess. At least in every case I know of.
[He feels it's important to make sure Adam knows that's the case; nothing about this, no matter how different the situations or details, is ever simple or clear.
After that, Lance hesitates, not sure exactly what more to say; part of him feels like he should offer his own answer to the question he asked of Adam, just to be fair, but the rest of him balks at saying even that much. There's something a lot more important that he should probably make clear, anyway.]
And although I can't offer professional help in this situation, if you ever want to talk or are just having one of the more difficult days and need a reminder that you're not alone, you can always message me.
[Because feeling alone is all too common, especially when you've gone through something that none of your friends understand or, alternatively, understand but can't bring themselves to talk about either.]
[Text]
But Adam is right in that he isn't asking for details, not just because it would be incredibly insensitive but because Lance doesn't think he could handle hearing much of them. There are several reasons he chose not to work with children, or even teenagers, and this is one of them; he can't be objective or helpful in a professional capacity when he isn't capable of keeping the required distance from the subject.
What little Adam does tell him is difficult enough to hear, although not just due to his own experiences.]
I'm sorry. I can't imagine.
[He'd never been in a particularly good foster home, but the one that had been the very worst had only lasted eighteen months and that had still been enough to scar him for life, both mentally and physically. Although he doesn't know for sure--and won't ask--exactly when things started for Adam, he has the impression from everything so far that it's probably been a long time.]
Yes, it is always a mess. At least in every case I know of.
[He feels it's important to make sure Adam knows that's the case; nothing about this, no matter how different the situations or details, is ever simple or clear.
After that, Lance hesitates, not sure exactly what more to say; part of him feels like he should offer his own answer to the question he asked of Adam, just to be fair, but the rest of him balks at saying even that much. There's something a lot more important that he should probably make clear, anyway.]
And although I can't offer professional help in this situation, if you ever want to talk or are just having one of the more difficult days and need a reminder that you're not alone, you can always message me.
[Because feeling alone is all too common, especially when you've gone through something that none of your friends understand or, alternatively, understand but can't bring themselves to talk about either.]