Yes. I didn't exactly think the same way. I was - well, like I said. More well-adjusted.
[He doesn't really know how to put it. Or rather, he does, but he does not want to list all the tiny things that were different, because when you add them all up they are a lot of things that make it obvious how badly his upbringing affected him.
He trusted more easily. He didn't tense up at loud noises. He didn't question his own thoughts, he wasn't as hard on himself. He didn't have a part of his mind always quietly focused on nothing more than survival, even when it wasn't necessary.
He had less ambition, less drive. That part, Adam doesn't like - ambition and stubbornness have always been the one thing he had to hold on to, the one thing keeping his head above water. But he didn't need that, there.]
My decisions were different, too. Back home, I did everything to get out, I worked my ass off, I barely slept. I had three jobs, I was at the top of all my classes, I barely had friends. I didn't have any other choice.
Here, I just - figured I'd make it eventually. I worked, but it wasn't a big deal.
[It's honestly hard to even imagine, now that he's not living it. Adam worked himself to the bone for years at home. When he was in that other town, that imaginary place, he was like - well, a normal person. He had goals, but that bone-deep drive was gone.]
It didn't feel like me. I guess you probably know what I mean.
[Text]
[He doesn't really know how to put it. Or rather, he does, but he does not want to list all the tiny things that were different, because when you add them all up they are a lot of things that make it obvious how badly his upbringing affected him.
He trusted more easily. He didn't tense up at loud noises. He didn't question his own thoughts, he wasn't as hard on himself. He didn't have a part of his mind always quietly focused on nothing more than survival, even when it wasn't necessary.
He had less ambition, less drive. That part, Adam doesn't like - ambition and stubbornness have always been the one thing he had to hold on to, the one thing keeping his head above water. But he didn't need that, there.]
My decisions were different, too. Back home, I did everything to get out, I worked my ass off, I barely slept. I had three jobs, I was at the top of all my classes, I barely had friends. I didn't have any other choice.
Here, I just - figured I'd make it eventually. I worked, but it wasn't a big deal.
[It's honestly hard to even imagine, now that he's not living it. Adam worked himself to the bone for years at home. When he was in that other town, that imaginary place, he was like - well, a normal person. He had goals, but that bone-deep drive was gone.]
It didn't feel like me. I guess you probably know what I mean.